[benellis58]

Another interesting thread:

https://www.bridgeba...spades-with-ax/

[benellis58]

OMARHEUM has sent some more hands. For this one he wrote "East opens 1C where I think most would open 1H."

I don't know if "most" WOULD open 1H, but I think they SHOULD, because the hand is not good enough for a reverse, so in many situations an EW heart fit will be missed when East opens 1C, although that was not the case here.

The GIBBO robots always open their longer suit whether it's right or wrong on any particular hand, because they apparently never learned about prepared bidding.

The GIB definitions are as annoying as usual. For example, in the definition of 1C, GIB feels that it's SUPER-important to inform us that 1C is a "Minor suit opening". I guess GIB figures no one would EVER have figured that out by themselves. Next, GIB tells us that South's ONE spade OVERCALL is a..."one-level overcall". Oh yeah, really, REALLY important to mention that, GIB.

Here's a special request, GIB: Please put a sock in it.

https://www.bridgeba...CDJ%7Cmc%7C9%7C

[benellis58]

Another from OMAR: He writes "North promises four spades with his 2H bid. I see only three."

So do I, OMAR. As is (sigh) so often the case, the GIBBO robot does not adhere to his own GIB definition. Beyond that, however, I'm wondering: Since when did a bid of two hearts in this situation show spades (!) in the GIBBO system? Does it actually show spades?

And again the GIB definitions seem designed to ANNOY. We are told that 1D is a "minor suit opening". We are told that 1H is "one over one".

And not only are the definitions annoying, but they are also inaccurate and filled with the type of blissful ignorance so frequently manifested by the twin terrors of GIB and GIBBO. To wit: 2H is defined as "4+ spades; 8+ HCP; 8- total points". We've already seen that North does NOT have "4+ spades", but we are also reminded that GIB has no comprehension whatsoever of even the basic concept of "total" points. The definition sloppily claims that 2H shows "8+ HCP", which literally means 8-37, and that it shows "8- total points", which literally means zero to 8. In addition to the lazy vagueness of both these statements, it's quite obvious that GIB thinks North cam have MORE HCP than "total" points, perhaps even many more.

Wake up and smell the roses, GIB! Or at least the tulips! As I have mentioned multiple times, HCP can be less than or equal to "total" points, but they CANNOT be greater. "Total" points are ascertained by BEGINNING with HCP and then, if applicable, ADDING more points for distribution. That's "adding", GIB, - NOT subtracting! Anyone who sees nonsense such as this will IMMEDIATELY lose any and all faith in your usually pathetic GIB definitions...if they were naive enough to ever have faith in them in the first place.

But maybe I'm being too harsh, GIB. After all, you DID tell us that oh-so-important fact that 1D is a "minor suit opening". At least you know THAT. Now if you could learn a LITTLE bit about bridge, it would be a start!

https://www.bridgeba...CDT%7Cmc%7C8%7C

[benellis58]

And one more from OMAR. Here he writes "Takeout double with no diamond support".

Indeed. But let's be fair: The definition of South's 2S bid in response to North's transfer via 2H begins with words that GIB apparently thinks are vital - VITAL! "What are those words?" you might be asking. Those words are..."Transfer completed to spades". Enough, GIB - for the love of mercy, ENOUGH with all this useless bilge in your pathetic definitions.

But perhaps I'm being too harsh again. After all, GIB does give this truly wonderful definition for 3H: "4+ hearts; 20- total points". Well, well, well, GIB, that REALLY narrows it down. We now know with CERTAINTY that East CANNOT have 21 points. He CAN have zero...or twenty...or anything in between, but he CANNOT have 21. Wow! SO informative, SO useful. Thank you SO much for that superlative picture of his hand!

https://www.bridgeba...CH5%7Cmc%7C6%7C

[benellis58]

Against South's 4S, West leads a diamond at trick one from J762. Okay, fair enough, no problem...but WATCH what will soon happen! Dummy tables Q109. Declarer South calls for the 9. East...HESITATES (yes, the GIBBO robots DO often hesitate) and plays the 8 (a STUPID play, as we will soon see), and declarer South follows with the three, meaning that dummy's NINE has won this first diamond trick.

At trick two, declarer leads dummy's stiff club 10 to his king, and West wins the ace.

At trick three. West STUPIDLY leads...another diamond (!) even after seeing what had happened at trick one! Declarer, of course, plays dummy's 10, and whether East covers with his king or not, declarer has THREE diamond winners and NO diamond losers! He began with A53 in his hand opposite Q109 in dummy, so the ONLY way he could EVER take THREE winners and NO losers was if the braindead GIBBO "defenders" led diamonds TWICE. East had been correct to withhold his king at trick one (or else declarer could have later hooked West for the jack), but West had been a TOTAL I.D.I.O.T. to play a SECOND round of diamonds. East had not been blameless either: He should have followed with his THREE, not his EIGHT, at trick one...although that did not excuse West's GROSS stupidity. GIBBO robots absolutely rot!

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/4c683ybe

[benellis58]

The GIB robots were even worse than the current GIBBO ones. Among other things, they STUPIDLY (yes, that word DOES get used a LOT when writing about GIB and GIBBO robots!) used to (perversely and illogically) LOVE to lead their shortest suits against NT. Fortunately, Lorserker corrected a fair amount of utter NONSENSE that had plagued the disgustingly bad GIB robots, so now the GIBBO robots, while still really, REALLY bad at just about everything pertaining to bridge, are at least better on opening leads than their GIB predecessors.

And yet...what the Hell happened HERE? Did a GIB robot somehow sneak in and occupy the West chair? Because on this board, West made the stupefyingly ridiculous lead of his stiff diamond 7.

Here's my constructive suggestion, BBO, on how to MASSIVELY improve your otherwise fine bridge site: Get RID of anything and everything involving GIB and GIBBO, and REPLACE it with DECENT robots, a DECENT system, and DECENT definitions. Your site will be MUCH better...AND much more attractive to BBO players, members, supporters, and customers. That should help you to retain existing clients and attract new ones in this era where many OTHER bridge sites are offering alternatives.

You're welcome.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/yc38t49t

[benellis58]

Typically stupid cuebid (3H) by East, pushing his poor partner to FOUR clubs... down ONE. A GIBBO specialty: converting a plus to a minus for NO reason. And if you check the GIB definition for East's imbecilic 3H call, you'll see that the ignorant stooge does not even have what his own definition says he is supposed to.

Please get RID of these hopeless, useless, worthless GIBBO clowns.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/57ejx8tt

[benellis58]

West leads his stiff club against South's 5H.

WHY? Is he looking for a RUFF? The VULNERABLE opponents have voluntarily bid FIVE hearts over East-West's 4S, after West's partner East had made a PRE-EMPTIVE (!) jump to 4S. West sees in his own hand TWO...ACES...including the ace of trump (hearts). Does West REALLY think that East will have an ENTRY (!!!) to give him the ruff that he oh so desperately craves? Just HOW clueless ARE these GIBBO robots?

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p8n3xj7

[benellis58]

North's 2D is defined as "New suit; 3+ diamonds; 4+ spades; 12+ total points; forcing to 3NT".

North is a GIBBO robot, so we know he is nothing but garbage.

The definition is a GIB definition, so we know that IT is nothing but garbage. Let's look at this GIB garbage piece by revolting piece:

"New suit", Guess what, GIB? You did NOT have to mention that. All it serves to do is to remind everyone that GIB definitions are not only useless pieces of trash that are very often incomplete and/or inaccurate but that they also contain totally useless, unnecessary, annoying, insulting bilge such as this.

"3+ diamonds". Yeah, one of the many bad things about the antiquated, hopeless GIBBO joke of a system.

"4+ spades". Fair enough, although I think we already knew that when North responded one spade!

"12+ total points". Maybe, maybe not, but any mention of "total" points in a GIB definition should just be completely ignored, because GIB has repeatedly proven that it lacks even a basic understanding of "total" points.

"Forcing to 3NT". Okay...EXCEPT THAT (!!!) THIS is what the IMBECILE'S hand is: AK983, Q1098, J1062, 8! Why is this ignorant GIBBO jackass FORCING to 3NT with this mere TEN-COUNT after 1C by his partner, 1S by him, and a MERE 2C by his partner? Can it be that these GIBBO pieces of garbage, who have ALWAYS been nothing BUT garbage, are getting even WORSE?

GIB/GIBBO stinks...and maybe even worse than ever!

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/37rf5mfr

[benellis58]

To his credit, West actually finds the best lead against 3NT.

But then again, although it IS the best lead, maybe it's NOT "to his credit", because it's actually a silly, illogical, ABNORMAL lead that by a total fluke just happened to be the best lead on this random layout on this random hand.

After South opened 1NT in fourth seat and North leapt to 3NT, West was on lead with Q108, 982, AQJ54, 97. For absolutely NO logical or discernible reason, he led the...8 of spades, thereby BLINDLY...STUMBLING into what happened to be the best lead.

Maybe the ONLY time these C.R.E.T.I.N.O.U.S. misfits do anything "good" is when they STUMBLE into it TOTALLY by chance.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p8znse9

[benellis58]

Does East lead his ace of diamonds (the ONLY suit that was not bid NATURALLY in the NS auction) against the club SLAM that NS have bid? No, he doesn't. Why not? Because he's a GIBBO robot, which means that he is one of the worst "bridge players" of all time and is too blindingly stupid to figure things out logically.

So what DOES the bozo lead? He leads a ...SPADE, declarer's KNOWN second suit...INTO declarer. He then watches declarer take all 13 tricks.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p8esaa7

[benellis58]

I suspect that most human players would bid 1S over West's 1H. North, being that unpleasant piece of slime known as a GIBBO robot, JUMPS to three DIAMONDS. I'm not even going to waste time discussing why this is silly.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p8u84sc

[benellis58]

I've often said that I often operate in games with three GIBBO robots, because I know going in that my "partner" and my opponents are all hopelessly incompetent and mind-blowingly stupid fools with absolutely no idea of how to play bridge.

I've also mentioned that these operations work out more often than not. If they didn't, I would obviously stop performing them.

But I've also said that sometimes they don't work out, which is to be expected.

Here's an operation that most definitely did not work out. We scored 7.1 % on the board and were very lucky to get even that much. I would not have complained if it was a zero, because it deserved to be a zero. Furthermore, I take full responsibility for this bad score and do not blame my partner North at all for it.

You might be asking, "So why are you telling us about this, Ben? It's very honest of you to admit your culpability on the board, but this thread that Diana so wisely created and titled last August is NOT about bashing yourself or any other humans - it's about bashing the wretched and contemptible GIBBO robots, in order to expose their glaring and never-ending flaws in the hopes that the powers that be will FINALLY either HUGELY improve them or, better yet, DESTROY them FOREVER and replace them with DECENT robots."

You are exactly correct, dear reader! This essential thread IS about bashing GIBBO robots, and that is exactly why I am posting this hand! In the interests of complete and honest disclosure, I set the stage with the early part of this post, but now I will, as the great Shirley Ellis sang six decades ago, "Get right down to the real nitty gritty".

And the REAL nitty gritty, despite the fact that I take full responsibility for our bad score on this board, is that North (also?) bid the hand like a M.O.R.O.N. In my defence (maybe?) I at least KNEW that I was taking a flyer with my bizarre bidding, because I was (duh) operating. North has no such excuse. North is just a typically imbecilic GIBBO robot (lowest of the low, worst of the worst, a STAIN on the game).

Why do I say that? Because...

Our uninterrupted joke of an auction was my bizarre 2NT opening, his 3D transfer to hearts, my subsequent normal 3H bid, and his 3NT call which ended the auction (defined by GIB as "5+ hearts, 5-10 HCP"). Not surprisingly, the GIB definition was typically pathetic. The description itself was almost reasonable (although certain details were not fully explained), but the MAIN point of the bid was glaringly absent. That main point was that his 3NT call was offering me a choice of games and basically saying, "Pard, please either pass 3NT or convert to 4H, according to which you think is better, based on YOUR hand and on your knowledge of MY hand". Yes, that's all fairly obvious, but it should still be included in a good definition.

But HERE'S the thing: THIS was North's hand: AQ976, K10872, 102, 8!!!! The stunningly incompetent, monumentally stupid jerk had FIVE...EXCELLENT...SPADES that he NEVER showed. He was FIVE-FIVE in the MAJORS, yet he unilaterally and arbitrarily transferred to one of them, totally ignored the other, and ALL BY HIMSELF decreed that we would play in either 3NT or 4H! We could EASILY have ended in the wrong strain (WHATEVER I had, and even if my bidding had been perfectly fine and normal). Furthermore, assuming that I had a legitimate and normal 2NT opener, we could EASILY have ben missing a slam in one of the majors.

GIBBO robots are absolute garbage. Please get rid of them and replace them with DECENT ones.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/mr2h32bx

[benellis58]

Typically stupid lead by a typically stupid GIBBO robot: The 6 of spades from 63 doubleton INTO a declarer who has shown at least 5-5 in the majors. Do these GIBBO monstrosities EVER do anything that is NOT stupid?

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p8vkc7p

[benellis58]

We scored 67.9 % on this board for going down one in 2H, and since I was 3-3 in the majors, what I am going to discuss would have been irrelevant here anyway, but:

I will reiterate a point that I have made in the past: Even though I am aware that many human players, including some good ones, would bid the North hand exactly as the robot did, I think that Stayman would be far superior, and that the entire Stayman philosophy and methodology of GIBBO's Stayman structure stinks (like just about everything else related to GIBBO). There are several BETTER ways to play Stayman. than the antiquated, impotent, cowardly, white-bread GIBBO way.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/yc8as96j

[benellis58]

This ended up working out well, as we scored 96.4 % on the board for going down one in 2S, but...

LOOK at North's 2H bid. This is a VERY typical action for these GIBBO derelicts in this type of situation. If their partner has opened 1NT and the opponents intervene, they cannot BEAR to pass and will bid on just about anything. I have seen them volunteer a suit of LITERALLY 5432 in this type of situation and in a hand where they had only 4 or 5 HCP. They will do this regardless of vulnerability, since they're so stunningly clueless that vulnerability NEVER seems to matter to them. Have I ever mentioned (ha, ha), that I think GIBBO robots totally rot?

Now, on this hand: South deals and opens 1NT, West and North both pass, and East balances with 2C, showing an unspecified single-suiter. South passes. West makes the expected and usual artificial diamond call asking his partner East to name his suit.

Our "hero" North has J43, 8754, K84, Q86...a mere six HCP, and a pretty lousy six at that: aceless, three of his six points coming from a queen and a jack, none of his three honours in combination, and apart from those three very unimpressive honours, his HIGHEST card from his remaining TEN cards, is an EIGHT (although, to be fair, he has three eights - ha, ha, and big deal!). Additionally, he has a pancake flat 3-4-3-3 shape, and he is VULNERABLE. Furthermore, he is not EVEN in passout seat! If East's suit is anything other than diamonds, he will bid it over West's 2D, and South will have a call...and North himself will have ANOTHER call! And if East's suit happens to be diamonds, a mere 25 % possibility, he will pass West's 2D (unless he has a HUGE hand), but South will still have a call in the passout seat.

Considering all of the above, for North to bid over West's 2D enquiry would be madness, but North is a GIBBO robot (the lowest of the low, the worst of the worst, a "bridge player" with no IDEA about how to play decent bridge), so of COURSE he bids. Don't forget what I wrote in the second paragraph of this post: "If their partner has opened 1NT and the opponents intervene, they cannot BEAR to pass and will bid on just about anything."

So, North DOES (stupidly, as usual) bid. He bids his "suit". He bids two...HEARTS...on his "suit" of 8754! Note that he does not yet know what EAST'S suit is, so he might EVEN be bidding EAST'S suit while sitting in FRONT of East! And as it so happens, on THIS particular random hand, hearts actually IS East's suit.

BTW, the GIB definition of North's 2H is, as you would expect, WRETCHED. (Aren't GIB definitions almost ALWAYS wretched?). It says "4+ hearts; 8- HCP; 5-9 total points". That is a LIE. That is INCORRECT. It does NOT show four PLUS hearts (which literally means 4-13). It shows EXACTLY four hearts, ONLY four hearts...because if he had FIVE (or more) hearts, he would not have passed 1NT - he would have transferred to hearts by bidding 2D. The pathetic GIB definition can't even get THAT right.

Fortunately, I knew to pull from 2H, because - no thanks to the piece of garbage GIB definition - I knew that our heart "fit" was a 4-2, so I pulled to 2S, not having a clue if it was our "best" "fit", but it HAD to be right to escape from 2H, and spades was my cheapest suit.

Everyone passed and I "only" went down one, aided by a typically wretched "defence" where West cashed his spade ace, dropping his partner's king.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/3cjsf8rs

[benellis58]

In "real" F2F bridge with humans, I bid aggressively. In games where my "partner" is a GIBBO robot and my opponents are also GIBBO robots, I operate a lot (since I am playing with and against three total imbeciles), but I also bid conservatively. Why? Because the GIBBO robots are execrable bidders at all times, but they tend to be overbidders more than underbidders.

Here's an example of a typically witless GIBBO robot stretching for NO reason. Fortunately, despite the jerk's best efforts to turn our plus into a minus, we were able to take 9 tricks in THREE hearts. That's THREE hearts, not TWO hearts, thanks to the ignorant fool's ridiculously optimistic 2S call. It's Be Kind to GIBBO Robots Day, which is why I termed his 2S bid "ridiculously optimistic" rather than using the more accurate description of "patently insane".


https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/y8232a9d

[benellis58]

I confess that I made two mistakes on this hand.

Mistake #1: I believed the GIBBO piece of trash in the North (my "partner").

Mistake #2: I believed the GIBBO piece of trash in the North (my "partner").

The GIB definition of the ignorant slimeball's double of 3D was "3+ spades; 10+ HCP; biddable diamonds; 10- total points".

The final part of that definition ("10- total points") could of course, as always, be ignored, because GIB has proven on countless occasions that it has ZERO understanding of ANYTHING relating to "total" points. I have LONG known that (and I hope everyone else also has), and this very definition proved it yet again (sigh!) by ridiculously claiming that the double showed at LEAST 10 HCP (since the typically lazy and sloppy "10+" literally means 10-37) but at MOST 10 "total" points (since the equally lazy and sloppy "10-" literally means 0-10). As I have explained many times, HCP can be less than or equal to "total" points, but they CANNOT be more, because "total" points are computed by beginning with the HCP and then adding any applicable distribution points.

Clearly. that part of the GIB definition was garbage, but it was irrelevant, since, KNOWING that any GIB mention of "total" points is ALWAYS garbage, I ignored it. The REST of the GIB definition clearly indicated that North's double was for penalty, so I passed, because I NAIVELY believed that for ONCE the piece of dirt in the North might have actually adhered to his own GIB definition and might actually have made an intelligent decision to double.

Silly, silly me to EVER think either of those things. The disgusting M.O.R.O.N. actually had Q63, A5, 8762, Q964. Note that the jackass has a mere EIGHT HCP, not the TEN (or MORE!) promised by the GIB definition. Note also that his diamonds are not exactly what I would consider "biddable" in the contest of this auction. And, BTW, a full HALF of North's mere HCP are two queens in the black suits, which could conceivably be worthless on defence.

So, my FIRST mistake was to believe that the disgusting slimeball might actually have a reason for making his double. Silly, silly me.

Next, the piece of dirt, having already demonstrated that he has no idea how to think, no idea how to bid, and is too stupid and undisciplined to even follow his own GIB definitions, now also proved that he is one of the worst opening leaders in the history of bridge. He made the insane lead of the heart ace and then shifted to a spade. This is where I made my SECOND mistake. I was not yet aware of how transcendently stupid his double had been, so I assumed that the jerk had had a reason for leading the heart ace - namely that it was stiff. Consequently, I played a second round of hearts. I naively thought that I could give him two heart ruffs - this one after winning the spade at trick two, followed by a second one after he ruffed and played club to my ace. That would ALREADY be five tricks for us (the heart, spade, and club aces, plus two heart ruffs) for down one, and if we got anything else it would be gravy.

Of course, the disgusting simpleton had NEITHER a legitimate penalty double NOR a stiff heart. All he had was his usual case of GIBBO insanity. Our minus 570 on the board scored 7.1 %, and I was grateful for THAT much, given the horrendous result.

The worst thing is that I learned nothing new from this disaster, because sometimes a disaster at least provides a good learning experience that will help on future boards. But here, what did I learn? NOTHING, because I already knew, and have known for a very, very long time that GIBBO robots are pure, unadulterated garbage of the worst sort. I knew that going IN to this hand, but what can you do? Sadly, even knowing what useless, ignorant, hopeless pieces of stinking garbage these GIBBO robots are, you still have to sort of assume that their bids mean SOMETHING approaching reality...even though you're WELL aware that they often do not.

BBO is a fine bridge site that offers a lot of information and entertainment to many people, including me. Unfortunately, it is plagued by the twin curses of GIB and GIBBO, which GREATLY reduces its attraction. For the good of its members, its customers, and most of all ITSELF, BBO needs to get rid of GIBBO before many of its customers abandon it in favour of one of the many competing bridge sites that are popping up in the modern world. GIBBO is garbage of the worst sort, and there is NO website that is helped by having GARBAGE as one of its key components. I like BBO, so I fervently hope that it will improve...and survive. The first step is to get rid of GIBBO.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/bdfwfcky

[benellis58]

This hand is open and shut for 9 tricks in spades for East-West, since North can never get in to lead a heart. Thus, North's BIZARRE play at trick one had no effect on the result...but it's still worth pointing out as an example of how BIZARRE the useless, disgusting GIBBO robots are.

At trick one, South led the diamond ace. I think the "textbook" lead in GIBBO is actually the king, but leading the ace is one of the ways I can give myself some amusement by showing my total contempt for GIBBO and its sickening overall philosophy.

In any case, let's look at this from the perspective of the deranged, ignorant dweeb in the North.

He sees his partner South lead the diamond ace against East's 2S. He sees dummy West placed on the table: 954, J964, 104, Q1085. He hears declarer East call for dummy's diamond four. Then he (North) looks at his own hand:

86, 32, J98753, 932. As far as I know, the robots play standard signals, although in reality, they probably RARELY if EVER actually signal, and probably rarely if ever notice or obey signals. For one thing, they seems to treat all spot cards as interchangeable equals.

North has to play a DIAMOND at trick one, because for all their countless and NEVER-ending faults, they at least do not revoke.

Okay, so North does play a diamond...the JACK! It didn't matter here, but as South, I took some time to think "What the HELL could he be playing the JACK from?" He would have played the queen if he had both the queen and jack, so the ONLY logical possibility was that he had a short jack (either a singleton or doubleton). Otherwise, why - looking at the TEN (!) in dummy - and ESPECIALLY since my lead of the ACE had theoretically DENIED the king in the GIBBO system - would he WASTE a potentially useful jack? If North had at MOST two diamonds, however, that would mean that declarer East had at LEAST six (!), which was wildly unlikely on the auction.

There WAS no answer, and there IS no answer except this: The GIBBO robots often have NO IDEA what they are doing, and their cards are often just randomly tossed. GIBBO robots rot! They are the worst!

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p84k5kr

[benellis58]

Another interesting thread:
https://www.bridgeba...-hallucination/